20, Single, and Childless.

Suzie*: “Lauren, how many kids you got?”

Me: “um…none.”

Suzie: “what?! Why?”

*name has been changed

This is regular everyday conversation with one of my JCP co-workers. I’m 99% sure (and 60% of the time I’m right every time) that I’m the only female in the building who doesn’t have a child or a baby daddy. Let me say that this post is not against men, relationships, or babies…I like them all. These is a meer perspective. (See proof below).

I was actually asked by one of my co-workers if I was married. (He saw my Baylor seal ring that has diamonds on it) While I wanted to say “It’s on my right hand not my left hand, idiot,” I kind of chuckled  and replied with a simple “nope.”
The conversation of course continued on from there. I was then asked if I had “a man”. When I said “no”” the response was “What? no boyfriend? You need one.” Welp. That’s a big, fat lie. I don’t need one. So far all they’ve done is just caused extra drama or trouble to my life. *Key word: So far. I’m a rather simple person- the most high maintenance thing about me is my hair, so any dramatization or mind games are a major turn off.  No, I’m not against relationships, boys, or marriage. I’m just not going to go around seriously dating someone I couldn’t see myself marrying. Quite frankly I feel like too much pressure is put on young people to get married. *there’s nothing wrong with people getting married right after college- some of my best friends are and I’m so happy for them! I’m just saying there’s quite a bit pressure to and seeing as I graduate in less than 160 days I won’t be taking that path…
 For example, I told a guy a while ago that I was graduating in December. He replied with “Well you have 6 months to get your Ring by Spring…better get working on that.” For those of you who don’t know what I’m referring to, you can read this post. Basically lots of girls at Baylor get engaged by Spring of their senior year.  I was kind of taken aback when he said that. I don’t need a ring by spring. I’m probably going to get slapped by a truckload of Baylor girls for saying this, but it honestly doesn’t appeal to me. Why do what everyone else is doing? I’m a dreamer and there’s things that I’d like to do before I settle down. Sure when someone comes along dreams often change, but until God shows me that I’m going to keep on following the current path he has for me, whatever that may be.
Sororites at any given college have a stereotype. I am a Tri Delta at Baylor and our stereotype is being “the marrying kind”. That being said, there really isn’t a meeting in the Spring without someone having a Candle Pass for their engagement. I personally don’t give a flying flip about getting to do a Candle Pass…that just isn’t important to me. I don’t know if it’s because I was raised to be independent or if it’s the fact that all my favorite icons didn’t really rely on men: Coco Chanel, Queen Elizabeth I, Audrey Hepburn… The thing I think that contributes most to my way of thinking is that I learned (the hard way) that you cannot depend on other people for your happiness…especially romantic relationships. True joy and happiness come from God- people will always let you down. Because of that, I don’t look to a relationship to feel good about myself.
This whole tangent about Baylor and relationships leads right back to what my co-workers have said to me. They have voiced to me that must live a sad and lonely life because not only do I not have children, but I currently don’t have a boyfriend. Actually it’s quite the opposite. I’m living in the peace that God has an infintely greater plan for me than I could ever imagine. I’m not desperate for a relationship- I’d rather have a really good one than 20 bad ones and 2 baby daddys. Yes, I know that relationships can fail even with good intentions, but as long as I live my life with open hands and the knowledge that God gives and takes for the better I’m golden. I know quite a few people who just settle for whatever comes their way. As humans we are too easily pleased.
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4 thoughts on “20, Single, and Childless.

  1. 🙂 i love this, well put. this last year of school is suppose to be fun filled with memories with sisters and close friends not drama an exhuasted conversations about which boy just texted you. congrats on graduating a semester early 🙂 hope all is well. God bless girl.

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